Humor

Rethinking my thinking

Today I’m spending the day with mom. We spent some time at the Texas Department of Public Safety getting her a state issued identification card and she surrendered her drivers license. She quit driving years ago so that was really no big deal.

Then we decided to go shopping. She says to me “I need makeup.” So I text my sister and say “Mom says she needs makeup.” I ask because she sometimes forgets what she might have bought yesterday. My sister texts me back and says “She does! LOL.”

So off to shop with a purpose we go. Two people who use to be great shopping partners, but who now don’t do malls. First stop Ridgmar Mall. We didn’t even bother to get out of the car. It looks run down and slightly abandoned. We just made a big circle in my car around the mall and decided to head to Hulen Mall. On the way to Hulen Mall I remember the new Shops at Clearfork development. So once we get to Hulen Mall and park at Dillards I tell my Mom that we will definitely have to check out the new place before we head home.

We browse through Dillards and then head out into the mall. Just me and the women who taught me all I needed to know about skincare. The woman who took me to the Estee Lauder counters and the Clinque counters. As we head out into the mall, I know that she has already forgotten about the makeup. But I have not.

So we head to Macy’s Estee Lauder counter. We are browsing the different types of makeup when a young lady shows up to helps us. As she is asking my mother the usual questions about what she expects from a makeup I suddenly ask myself “What in the world am I doing?”

Arbonne! I have been an independent consultant for about a month. I have been spreading the word to friends and family. I have sent samples. I have handed out samples. I have shipped multiple samples. I am almost out of samples. I need to reorder samples!

Fortunately the sales rep color matched my mom and in a very surprising move, she offered a sample to take home and try before she buys. Just to be sure that the color matches and she’s happy with it in every way. REALLY!! I guess she was just really too busy to try and sell us product. My mother was excited and really ready to buy. But I have to say “Thank you!!” I said “Yes! Let’s take the sample and try it.”

On the way to the Shops at Clearfork I told my mother about Arbonne and told her we could her everything she needed and she would love it. I know she will. So I can’t really blame the young girl at the cosmetic counter. I also had overlooked my mother as someone who would appreciate the quality of the Arbonne skincare and makeup.

Then we went on to the Shops at Clearfork. Right now the only store there is Neiman Marcus. But it is going to be a very lovely retail development when it’s done. As we walked into Neimans I thought, “This is what a department store is suppose to be like. I bet if we had stopped at the Estee Lauder counter in Neimans we would have left with a bag of makeup.

If you are currently going to the department stores to buy you skincare, makeup, bath products, or even the healthfood store to buy nutritional supplements, I would like for you to at least check out what Arbonne has to offer. It truly is a great line of products. To visit my website click here.

 

Opportunity_instagram_image

If you’d like to see some other roads I’ve been down concerning skin care just click here

 

Poor Neglected Belly Button

2116016-lgThe navel (clinically known as the umbilicus, colloquially known as the belly button, umbilical dip or tummy button) is a scar[1] on the abdomen at the attachment site of the umbilical cord. All placental mammals have a navel, and it is quite conspicuous in humans.[2] Other animals’ navels tend to be smoother and flatter, often nothing more than a thin line, and are often obscured by fur.

I’ve seen new born puppies, kittens, and other animals.  I’ve seen their umbilical cords attached. So I know that theoretically they have belly buttons. But the human belly button is quite noticeable. Young girls with their youthful flat tummies, pierce them and adorn them. I don’t judge. If I was 20 again, I’d go for a belly button piercing.  You see the grotesque belly button outline in too small t-shirts stretched over the plump. During the summer everywhere you turn, there is a belly button staring back at you.

As we age, we cover up our belly buttons. At least I do. Maybe it’s a matronly thing, because it doesn’t seem to bother the large portion of men. They either let it all hang out, cover it up with one of those too tight t-shirts, or it peeks out at your from under a shirt that is just a tad too short. At my age, belly buttons have gone from something slightly sexy to something rather horrendous.

Thanks to my mother, I have a nice belly button. I remember being young and an aunt would have a baby. I watched as the umbilical cord fell off and then all the attention was put on taking care of the belly button. Making sure that the belly button was pretty. Making sure it was acceptable.

Over the last several months belly button hygiene has occasionally crossed my mind. I don’t remember being given any instruction on this sort of cleaning. Most of the time I jump in the shower and don’t give much thought to the ol’ navel.  I’ve checked it out from time to time and thought, “You need to wash that out.”

Too much information? Maybe so. But it’s a legitimate concern. Something that has been on my mind. Almost to the point of being obsessive. But I’m glad to say that my belly button is clean.

I did some checking and the good news is that the belly button doesn’t seem to really require a lot of attention. Then I came across an article on “What Lives in Your Belly Button”

It’s an interesting and disgusting article. It says that “Belly buttons are a lot like rain forests.” From 60 belly buttons, the team found 2,368 bacterial species, 1,458 of which may be new to science.

So the next time you jump in the shower, show your belly button a little love.

My new friends make me feel like a sea cow.

I have been at my new job now 86 days. I have acclimated well and feel like a part of the team. It was weird at first, being in a team situation. For the last 14 years I have been in an office by myself, doing my own thing. I sat by myself, ate lunch by myself, and only interacted with co-workers when there was a need or I just wanted to. It felt more like a dysfunctional family than a team motivated work environment.

Don’t get me wrong. I still work with humans and I’m still human. So these new people are not perfect and neither am I. But for the most part they all work well together and make an effort to get things done. This includes things that may or may not be in their “job description.”

I’ve gotten to know these people and feel connected to them and seriously consider them friends. Now, I know that I have not even been there 90 days yet and we are probably still in our honeymoon period. But most of these people have worked together for years and they seem to get along and genuinely care about each other. So I don’t expect that I’ll be any different.

But there is one thing I would like to say about this group. They lied to me on the first day.

The place where I work is slightly secluded from the main drag. So when I took this job I thought – “I’ll have to bring my lunch.” Now that was not a bad thing. It was a good thing. I would not only save some money, but I could eat healthier by bringing my lunch. So that very first Monday I show up with my homemade, healthy lunch. This is where the lie began. I was told, “We usually try to bring our lunch. We only eat out on Wednesdays.” I think that was the only week that I brought my lunch for 4 days and ate out on a Wednesday.

All it takes is for one person to say “I didn’t bring my lunch” or “I brought my lunch, but I don’t want it” and we are off. We jump into a vehicle and drive pell mell all over the Hulen/Bryant Irvin/Crowley area. We have appetizers, desserts, and sometimes 2 hours lunches. I had warm chocolate meringue pie that I dreamt about for weeks after eating it.

In addition to these gluttonous lunches, we have people bringing cakes, pies, fried pies, cookies, cupcakes, macaroons, Whitman’s pecan cluster, and scores of other things. I’m not even going to talk about the bags of candies that are purchased, kept in the office supply room, and dished out in bowls.

Manatee_Sea_Cow_Crystal_River_Florida_600

This evening I arrived home bloated, swollen, and full. I had been full all day, but had somehow, still managed to gorge myself all day. I literally felt ill. My pants, that were slightly loose 86 days ago, are now just a little snug. I was in a-fib for a couple of hours and had a pain in the general area that the specialist told me my liver was in. So as I lay beached on the sofa, I came to the realization that it’s time to jump off the crazy food train and start my trudge back up the hill to healthy eating choices.

I have a plan in mind. It’s no diet. Just better choices. Tonight when I finally started feeling just a tad hungry, I decided on a brownie with a couple of scoops of vanilla ice cream. That choice will no longer be on the menu. Another thing I have added to my diet in the last several weeks is about four cups of coffee a day and sometimes a pot on Saturdays. This vice I think I will keep.

But in the future, that vehicle zipping all over town will not be caring my great big butt. Well, maybe only on Wednesdays.

Some dreams are more appreciate than others

We all dream.  Some people are better at remembering dreams than other.  I’ve read different theories and suggestions on things you can do that will enable you to remember you dreams.  But none of them have ever worked for me.  It would be interesting to be able to instantly recall what you’ve dreamed when you wake up.  Sometimes this does happen.  I might remember a snippet of a dream upon waking.  Normally if this happens the dream will return to me within an hour or so.

I don’t know what the science is behind dreams.  But I don’t think the brain shuts down completely when we sleep.  It would be interesting to know what goes on in your brain while you sleep.  Is it just a hodge podge of recollections?  Is it you subconscious trying to bring some idea or reassurance to the forefront of your understanding?   Or is it your true self running amok for seven to eight hours while you sleep?

I’ve also been known to talk in my sleep and even get up and walk around.  This hasn’t happened in a while.  (At least not that I’m aware of.)  But when this has happened in the past it scares the bejeezus out of Doug.  I have sat upright in bed and babbled.  I have gotten up out of bed and walked around to the end of the bed and cussed someone out while pointing my finger in the air.  Doug says he would never go to sleep if I was mad at him.  He’s afraid I would walk in my sleep to the kitchen and come back to the bedroom and scoop his heart out with a spoon.

Without getting to mushy or personal, Doug and I are snugglers.  He is either snuggling me up or I’m snuggling him up.  One night several months ago he was asleep on his side and I was snuggled up against his back with my arm around him.  Now if you’ve read any of my past blogs, you know I have a thing for skin care.  I am often on a quest to find the very best eye creams.  That is my obsession.  I currently have three different bottles of eye cream, none of them I care for.  I guess this particular night my obsession was on my brain.  While snuggled up against him with my arm around his chest, I was apparently dreaming that I had found the perfect bottle of eye cream.  But sadly there was only a little left in the small glass jar.  So in my dream I was digging down into the bottle to get the last little bit out with my finger nail.  I was in deep sleep and my brain had taken over.

I was suddenly thrust from a deep sleep to being fully awake.  Doug had jumped up out of bed, rubbing his chest, and shouting at me “What the hell are you doing?!  I started laughing.  I immediately remembered my dream and realized that while we were both slumbering soundly, I had been digging my index finger into the middle of his chest, trying to get that last little bit of cream out.

He didn’t see much of the humor in it when I tried to explain why it happened.  I think in the middle of the night he took it as a personal physical attack.  After returning to bed, I continued to chuckle at the funniness of the whole thing.  Doug however was still a bit touchy and didn’t want me anywhere near him.

Me and My Windchimes

I love my wind chimes.  I only wish I had more.  After all, three really isn’t very many at all.  I have two out in the yard that I brought when we moved.  Doug put them waaayyyy out in the yard, because he says they get on his nerves.  At the old house we had a smaller yard and he actually fixed them to where they made no noise at all.  But now they all happily make noise together.

I have one wind chime that is about 2 feet long and has a lizard that swings from the bottom. Its my favorite in its own unique way.  I have another one that I bought at the same time that is triangular and has the sun emblem at the bottom. Both of these I bought at the Import Store downtown.  The last one I bought at Trade Days in Bowie.  I like them because I thought it was unique since it was made from teaspoons and used a fork as the middle part holding it all together.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This last one I bought at trade days in Bowie a few years back.  I liked it because it was made out of teaspoons and used a fork as the main piece holding everything together.  It gets tangled up when the wind blows and I have to sit down and untangle it.  But I always smile when I hang it back up.

I like to have things in the yard.  We also have a pretty good size bird bath, a bird feeder, and a suet feeder.  Doug and I both always look forward to hanging out the hummingbird feeders.  I also have a face on a tree as you come up my drive.  It has faded and probably needs to be replace.

I’m a little weird, I guess.  What I’ve really always wanted to do, but it would require Doug’s help and I don’t think he would approve.  I wish I had electricity up and down my drive.  I don’t know if anyone remembers the boat ride at Six Flags.  I think it was LaSalle’s, but not 100% sure.  You rode the boat down a river and things would spin, play music, and come out towards you.  I would really like something like that on my driveway.  Welcome signs to flash, Mariachi’s to play, animated things to wave and greet you.  In fact there use to be an import store on 7th street that had three great big mariachis on top of the building.  I wanted those real BAD!!  But I figured they were expensive and I would have to buy one at a time and tie it to the top of my car to get it home.

So now you know.  I am completely crazy and have lost my mind.  I don’t think I’ve ever told any one my plan for the driveway.  I guess its just a pipe dream, but if I ever win the lottery I’m having an animated driveway.  In the mean time, I try to stay away from garden gnomes, cement animals, and plastic rocks.