Over the last few months I’ve tried to limit my Facebook posts. There are lots of reasons why. Mainly a tiny little group that I felt didn’t need a window into my life. I was advised to just delete them. That was too big of a step, they are family after all. I hate restricting my Facebook posts. Oh I do it, but sometimes it requires too much thought.
There are times that things pop into my head and I bring up Facebook and type it in. Then I delete it without posting. There’s just way too much going on on Facebook. Too much politics for one thing. Information I like, opinions I do not. Too much repost and repost and repost. Too much, this ugly child doesn’t think anyone will like their picture, you’ll go to hell if you simply scroll on by. Too much lecturing and sermonizing. Some days even the food posts get on my nerves. I don’t feel like my “friends” live there any more.
So, I’m going to try a change in tack. I’m going to turn my attention to Twitter and Instagram. I’ll still see you on Facebook. But I’ll only be lurking during the week and posting sporadically on the weekends.
Don’t judge me by my red cup. I have seen the same internet meme many times after the so called Red Cup “controversy”. I use quotation marks because I only saw the backlash against the so called controversy. I’m well aware that one man posted a video about Starbucks lack of “Christmas” icons on their cups. I’m also aware that that particular idiotic video went viral. (And may I say “Thank you internet!!” for giving this idiot a platform. ) But what I never saw was a general “uprising” against Starbucks and their plain red cup.
But what I am seeing is this:
Every time I see this, it really pisses me off. It comes across as very judgmental to me. Like I shouldn’t be spending my money the way that I want. Or maybe it’s saying that I’m stupid because I stop at Starbucks for a cup of coffee.
I looked this morning when I stopped for my “$7.00” cup of coffee and even asked the barista and the most expensive cup of coffee on their menu today is $5.95 and that’s for their seasonal drinks. So first of all stop exaggerating!
My normal cup of Starbucks is $3.65. I don’t get one every day, but at least two – three times a week I do. But If I wanted to get a cup of Starbucks coffee every single day of the week and each one cost $15.00 a cup, that is no one’s business but mine.
You don’t know what my giving record is. You don’t know what I give to charities! You don’t know what I’ve done for my friends, relatives, acquaintances, or community! So shut the hell up and mind your own freaking business!
I’ve worked my entire life and if I want to splurge on coffee or anything else, it’s no one’s business but my own. Maybe I need to come to your house and go through your cabinets, pantry, and refrigerator and pass judgement on what you’re putting into your body. Maybe I need to take a look at your finances and see where your money is going.
So go back to your trolling and leave me the hell alone.
I’ve grown accustomed to nonsense. Do any reading on the internet and it’s best to keep scrolling and not get your panties in a wad. That’s especially true of Facebook. It’s a gathering place for friends, enemies,, and nincompoops. As you scroll through your Facebook feed you can see a smorgasbord of silly, serious, uplifting, and mundane.
There are people who claim “This is my page. I’m just making a statement and I don’t need/want any comments.” Pulease!!! If you put it out there, expect comment. You can just delete them if they bother you that much. It’s not your front porch and your house. Think of it more as standing up in the middle of the mall and making a proclamation.
Here are my rules, if only I could enforce them with some kind of electrical zap to their fingertips.
1. Basic reading comprehension skills required. Read my original post and try to understand what I’m going for. A:) Social Commentary B:) Wise Ass C:) Moral Support, or maybe even D:) Information Request
2. If you feel the need to comment, by all means, pleases do. But first, please read your comment and ask yourself “Am I being a part of the conversation or am I taking this conversation down another road?” Ask yourself question BEFORE hitting enter.
3: If you feel led to go down another road – Post your own status, don’t gloam onto mine. Example: I post George Bush has big ears along with a cartoon meme. This is posted as humor. But you feel the need to tell me how disastrous the current administration is. Now you’ve put a damper on all my fun, along with everyone else who has commented in a fun, free spirited way.
4: If you’re not sure about #3, read all of the comments. Is this a serious post? OR is this all in good fun. While we’re talking about reading all of the comments before commenting yourself, this is very important if I’ve asked a question. For instance if I ask “What colors make green?” and sixty-four people have already commented that “Green is made by mixing blue and yellow”, there really is no need for you to comment also.
5. If you don’t care, you don’t comment. Posting in the comments with the phrase “Who cares?” any where in your comment is ridiculous. It makes you look like a bully or at the very least a great big wet blanket. If you don’t care, just keep scrolling. I’m sure there is something you can care about further down in the feed.
But I guess the biggest rule enforcer for me is the “delete comment” button. I love that button. If you can’t get the humor or if my post bother’s you there is another nifty feature. It’s the “hide” option. Try it. You blood pressure will thank you.
You know on Facebook there is no dislike button. There is a scam that gets going every now and then. I’m not sure if its just a run of the mill hoax or it there is some kind of virus attached to it. My general rule of thumb is I don’t click links on Facebook, unless I’m 100% sure I should. I think we all should be well versed enough with the digital age to know that we shouldn’t click on certain kinds of links found on Facebook, in emails, or on other internet sites.
This brings me back to the “dislike” feature that Facebook does not have. Some people think we should have a “dislike” option on postings. I for one, am glad that we do not. The internet has turned a lot of us into an argumentative group of individuals. Already you can post “It’s a bright, beautiful, sunshiny day!!!!” and some where along the way someone just might post something negative.
Just go to any internet site that allows comments and you will see what I’m talking about. It’s not so much the difference of opinions that I’m talking about as it is the rudeness. The belligerence, contentious, and combative replies. If I say “It’s a good day.” and you reply “It’s a bad day. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day for me.” Fine, that’s a difference of opinion. But if I say “It’s a good day.” and you reply “Are you out of your ever loving mind!!! What the hell are you talking about?? This is the worse day ever. You don’t know what you’re talking about. Haven’t you watched the news!!??” Well that’s just a tad rude. In my opinion.
“In my opinion.” That’s what a lot of commenters say. That’s sort of like “don’t get me wrong” or “I hope you don’t take this wrong.” or demanding (politely) some sort of reference to their “sources”.
I have found that the demands for sources usually surfaces in political or theological statements. Now we’ve all been told not to bring up politics or religion at the dinner table or sometimes even family gatherings. So when you post a political or religious statement on Facebook, beware. You have opened yourself up for a debate. This is when it can get ugly. Generally on Facebook it may not be your own friends that waylay you, but the friends of friends. If its your own friends that become rude, ugly, and begin the name calling, it may be time to reconsider your friends list.
When people request “sources” or “where did you get your information?” I must say, I chuckle just a bit. I think most of us know we can pull just about anything to support our “opinion”. Its funny to me to see people become some kind of self appointed expert in a particular area. I also think its hilarious that someone thinks that they can listen and read up on a political candidate and be able to discern the truth. At this time of the year in the political cycle and generally any other time, politicians (ALL politicians) say what they think their constituents want to hear.
I’m sick of the arguments about politics. Whoever is in the White House, whoever is in congress, whoever sits in the senate, they could care less about what is going on amongst the run of the mill working class American. The big corporations run this country and they run the world. We as individuals have relatively no rights as compared to the military industry, pharmaceutical, energy, agribusiness (just ask any family farmer), and the banking industry. These industries run the world.
Actually when I think about it, it’s really very depressing. We have lost all control. Politicians, all politicians, are in the pockets of these industries. I believe that there will have to be a revolution. I think eventually there will be. Maybe not in my life time. I sometimes go back and read this editorial by Steven Van Zandt. I think its well thought out, but you may have a different opinion and that’s okay.
Well, I really did not mean to go off in this direction. But I will let it stand, because that’s the way I feel. I started off with the absence of a dislike button on Facebook. What I wanted to say is, let’s just be nice to each other. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and their beliefs. Its okay to disagree with someone in a considerate way. But why try to belittle them? No one person has the right to condemn another human being because of their opinions or beliefs.
Remember the children’s game “Telephone”. You know you sit in a big circle and one person whispers a phrase or sentence into the person’s ear that is sitting next to them. Then each person whispers the phrase into the next person’s ear until you get to the end of the line. Once there the last person says aloud what they heard. It rarely is the exact same thing that is said in the beginning.
Sort of like gossip. As its repeated, things are left out, added, embellished upon. Maybe its happened to you. You shared something with somebody and then a few days later someone you know asks you about it. Only its not anywhere near the story you told the first person. I don’t think you can take it personally. Its just human nature. I guess if you don’t want rumors spreading about yourself you just have to learn not to talk about yourself.
This game came back into my mind this weekend. Beginning Saturday my feed was filled with the following:
Well we all woke up this morning to a new and improved Facebook feed. I have to say after looking at the feed for awhile this morning that I think my generation is slowly stepping into the gripey old people age. I say this all in good fun, because I didn’t care for the change that was thrust upon us either.
But come on people!!!! Its a free service, so far Facebook hasn’t cost me a dime. Yet I’m able to connect with old friends, family members, and make brand new friends. I can get on Facebook at any time of the day or night and find out the mundane going ons in everyone’s life. I can ask a question and get an answer pretty quick from one of my friends. If I want to chat, why look, there’s a whole list of people ready to chat with me.
Yet still some of us are pissed. But it really does make me Laugh Out Loud! Facebook seems to tweak itself all the time. We get use to the new look and we all stop our fussing. Then another change comes along and we get riled up all over again. “I’m leaving!!” “I’m going back to Myspace!!” “Google Plus is where its at!!”
When was the last time anybody even checked their Myspace page? I probably couldn’t even get into mine if I wanted to. If I did get in, who would I find there? Sure there are other social media sites. Google Plus is new. But its NEW!!! All my friends are on Facebook. I’m staying.
It may take me a few minutes to figure out where things are or how to adjust something to the way I like it. But let’s admit it, Facebook is the big boy on the block right now. We can bitch, we can send emails filled with complaints, but Facebook is going to do what Facebook wants. They aren’t going to listen to us. They might listen to the advertisers, because that’s where the dinero comes from.
But the feed today is giving me some chuckles. It reminds me of once when an established grocery store rearranged their layout to match their newer stores. It was a pain in the behind, but the loudest were the elderly. You know the elderly are set in their ways and don’t adjust well to changes. Especially changes to things they use frequently. So come on people, let’s suck it up, and roll with the flow. We ain’t that advanced in age, yet are we!?!?
On my Facebook list of friends are people I went to school with, people I work with, relatives, people I’ve become friends with over the years, and strangers that I’ve met on Facebook that have become genuine friends. I’m always mindful of what I post on Facebook, I hope. There have been things I’ve posted that I later regret. Some I remove and some I just leave and go on about my business. After all I’m only human. One of the things I like about Facebook is the ability to make lists of friends. I have put friends on this list or that one. I have lists for school, work, family, and others.
Sometimes when I post something that only a few of my friends may be interested it, or may even be sort of tasteless or maybe very opinionated I’ll hid my post from a certain list. Its not that I’m trying to hide anything. Its just that I don’t think they will appreciate what I have to say or maybe my opinion leans to far one way or another. When I post something I normally like to interact with my friends. I’m like anyone, I like a good discussion, even an argument every now or then. But I’ve found that some people tend to become sort of rude (in my opinion) and I don’t care for rude.
The bad thing about Facebook is we are reading other people’s thoughts, opinions, and things in their everyday life. We can’t hear their tone of voice or see the expression on their face. For instance when having a political discussion face to face, it seems like, to me anyways, that we are more respectful of each others feelings. On Facebook, its seems we just type type type, click. Then the whole network sees. I say take a minute and reread what we’ve wrote before entering. Sure you can always remove it, but once its out there, its out there.
I was moved to write this because of someone’s daily post on Facebook. They come across, to me anyways, as petty, prejudiced, bossy, and inflexible. Some of the things posted I think are meant to be funny, but in a written form they don’t come across that way to me. I firm believer in every one has a right to their opinion, but to show contempt for another human being because they think, speak, look, believe, or act different from you makes my blood pressure rise.
Another wonderful feature of Facebook is the ability to hide individual people from your feeds. Why not just unfriend them you might ask? I don’t want to hurt their feelings for one thing. For another, I think they probably have a low self-esteem anyway. Finally, I hope one day they change and mature. In the meantime I will just hide them from my feed and hide my posts from them.
Farmville turns you into a beggar as well. They have you start projects that require multiple items that make you BEG from your neighbors (other Farmville addicts). Then just when you’ve collected the last wooden board, brick, or nail you discover you can expand those projects and you’re off on a begging quest again. The worse are the barn raisings! You’ve got to get 10 friends to help you within a short period of time. These seem to get lost on the feed.
There were a few times I needed more neighbors to expand my farm or advance to something. I can’t beg my “old” friends on Facebook to be my Farmville neighbors. So I turn to the Farmville Forums and other Farmville pages to find new friends. I try to pick people who remind me of myself, but really you never know. So far I’ve been very lucky and most of the people I’ve friended are real friends now. We talk about other things, not just Farmville. Some of these people have been able to beat their addiction and no longer play, but remain good friends.
Believe me I’ve got better things to do than play this silly, time wasting game. But I really can’t help myself. I run out of the house each morning barely making it to work on time. I’ve got a spare bedroom that has become a storage room. Every weekend I swear I’m going to clean it. I’ve got a dog that has absolutely no manners. I’ve got floors that need mopping, closets that need to be straightened, and drawers that need to be cleaned out.
On Farmville I’m farming, baking, making wine, raising ducklings, calves, foals, chickens, and seedlings. I’m harvesting my crops, my orchards, my trees, my duck pond, my dairy, my chicken coop, my pig sty, and a mystery trough. I’ve got a greenhouse where I can crossbreed seeds. And what does Farmville do now? They give me a farm in the English Countryside. So now I have TWO farms. On my farm in the England I’m not only planting and harvesting crops, I’m operating a pub, making the brews and breeding sheep! Do you know what I have to do to breed my sheep??!! I have to BEG for Love Potions.
I vow to you today that I will cut back on my Farmville time! I will not farm in the mornings or evenings during the week, maybe only a little on the weekends. I really think there should be a 12 Step program for Farmville. We could start one. First we’ll need a building. Please send me 10 boards, 10 nails, and 10 bricks. I promise to gift the same to you so that you can build your own.