A Brand New Decade

Happy 2020!! I for one am so happy to wave goodbye to 2019. It will be forever my year from hell. Why? Because my life fell apart. Overly dramatic? Nope. If I could be open and honest and list below the rather short list of what came unraveled, I think most people would be very surprised.

However, I’m not ready to air my laundry just yet. Compared to what some of my friends have gone through this year, it is all relatively minor. It’s not a life threatening disease that I had to fight with my whole being. My husband still adores me and is my very best friend. The important people that I started 2019 with are still with me. I still have a great job, great co-workers, and a great boss.

What happened in 2019 was the blinders that I’ve been wearing for decades were unceremoniously ripped from my face and the reality of my life was abruptly thrust into my consciousness. The lies that I have been telling myself were suddenly right there. screaming at me.

I’ll be using the next year examining all of these lies. Discover how they came into existence. Hopefully, connect with others who have their own truths that they have discovered. By connecting with them I hope to discover how they dealt with their own realizations and what steps they took to become a happy human being.

So as I sit here on this very first day of 2020, I have no resolutions. There are things that I’ve started in the last few years that I want to continue and even grow them into a larger part of my life.

I’ve changed the way I eat and how I think of food in the last couple of years. Thanks to Arbonne, I’ve learned a lot about fueling my body with nutritional dense whole foods. They say it takes 21 days to form a habit. It’s been a lot longer than 21 days and how I see food is completely different than it was 2 years ago. Do I have days that I eat something that does not serve me? Of course!!! The whole month of December was like that.

When I see the ads for all the different diet plans, it makes me a little sad. I know people want to be healthy. Their making it more difficult than it needs to be. I’m not perfect. I still have pounds to lose. I need to exercise more. But I can honestly say I feel better today than I did even 3 years ago and I know I can feel healthier in the next 30 days. So no resolution needed, I just need to stay the course.

So the healthy eating I’ve been doing for awhile. Like everything in life, it ebbs and flows. But the things I just started learning in 2019, I know will take a more effort. I will need to be more aware of my own thoughts and feelings.

Things like, it’s okay to have a small circle. Right now my immediate circle only contains Doug. I’m not 100% sure that my immediate circle needs to be larger. To me, your immediate circle are the people who will drop everything when you need them. Discover that I only have one person in my circle willing to do this was one of the truths I learned in 2019.

I have another circle that is slightly larger and I’m discovering that this circle is also very important. This circle consist of 3 other people besides Doug. These people might not be in a position to drop everything for me. But I know if I need someone to talk to, I can pick up the phone and find them. They are available.

I think to live a full and happy life, you need a third circle. This is the cirle that I want to grow in 2020. These are people I have things in common with. People who enjoy my company and I enjoy theirs. These are the people you make an effort to connect with, however that might be. These are wonderful people who can round out your life. Most of the time these people stay in this 3rd circle. Occasionally these people will move into your second circle. My second circle grew by one of these in 2019.

The biggest thing I want to improve on is how I talk to myself. I’ve read a lot of personal development books and listened to a ton of podcast. However, its so easy to slip back into those bad habits of how we talk to ourselves. So I’ve set up some reminders that will go off throughout the day that will remind me to breathe, that I’m worthy, and mainly “Not my circus, not my monkeys” For me this is MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

A lot of the things that I take on and eventually stress me out are things that I’ve inserted myself into. So I’ve been making a real effort not to do that. Another thing that I need to remember is that it’s okay to say no. AND no explanation is even necessary.

If I seem distant, sequestered, or just unavailable, just know that I’m working on me and it might take awhile.