Yesterday morning I woke up early. It was nice and snug and warm in my bed. I roll over and open my eyes and stare at the 62 year old man in my bed. I find it satisfying to look at him while he’s sleeping. He’s normally wound very tightly, always on a mission or working on a to-do list. He’s normally up and about long before I am, because that’s his nature. But at this moment his face is relaxed and carefree. He breathes deeply and satisfyingly. His lips flutter as each breath is exhaled completely.
I take my time this morning and study his face in slumber, wondering what dreams are traversing across his subconscious. Is he dreaming of his youth? Is he dreaming of retirement? Is he solving problems? Even in his dreams he faces demons that lurk during the day. On the day that we observe his birth, I hope he’s having happy dreams. His body language seems to tell me that he is in a harmonious place.
I look at the face of the man I love and I get a little sentimental. My eyes fill with tears of emotion. Emotions of deep love, contentment, and peace. I know that I have linked myself to my true and perfect soulmate. He can drive me absolutely mad! He’s a pessimist. He has a quick temper. He can be judgemental and rigid. He’s a black and white guy in a grey world. He is not perfect. But he is perfect for the imperfect me. We are the perfect complement of personalities.
He loves me without question. He enjoys my company. He worries about me. He does the little things. Removing the pan from the oven, because he thinks it might be too heavy. Asking me if I need anything as I sit in my chair under a blanket reading a book. Asking me if I’d like to watch the sunset. Holding my hand when we watch television. All the little things that make me feel cherished.
The world seems to spin faster and faster. Our days are filled with long commutes and demanding jobs. He’s worked hard to make sure that we are financially ready for retirement. A worry free retirement has consumed him for years. He still broods over the cost of insurance between now and 65. My attitude is “what will be, will be” That is not his perspective. He needs to know without a doubt that if something should happen to him, that I will be taken care of financially.
Now that he can see the goal of retirement approaching, I hope he finds this sleeping contentment in his waking hours.I pray he knows deep in his heart that together we can overcome anything that the universe decides to throw at us.
If the world should collapse and I am left with only him, I would be satisfied until the end of my days.