Ambushed

Narcissist. I hear that word thrown around a lot. I think it gets used a little too often. Is it a personality disorder or are they just an asshole? I’ve had friends that were romantically involved with what they called a narcissist. Judging from what they told me, a narcissist they definitely were. I have one family member that is not only a narcissist, but probably has about 3 other personality disorders as well. But enough about me! (I’m joking!)

But I do think there is a huge difference between someone who might be a little self centered and a narcissist. Until a friend became involved with one I equated a narcissist with someone who loved himself. You know, liked what they saw in the mirror and liked compliments. I’ve had someone come into my life who I believe is a true blue narcissist.

Fortunately, this is not an important person in my life. This person only operates in the periphery of my world. But I do have to interact with them on occasion. Actually, someone else used the term “narcissist” when referring to this person. That’s when I started paying more attention.

I’ve seen this person in action. Putting people on the defensive. Somehow the conversation, event, or problem always comes back around to them. Even when it seemingly doesn’t have anything to do with them. I read an article that said: If it seems that they can only talk about themselves, even at the oddest of times, it is not your imagination. Narcissists can only talk about what they value most — themselves. That is their nature. When I read this statement I actually thought of one incident in particular. It was very strange and I wish I could share it, but it would only identify the person and that is not my intention.

In all the time that I’ve been observing this person, never once have I heard them apologize. Not a true apology. Faultless….that’s the word that comes to mind. Not that they are, but that must be how they think of themself. Wound collector, that’s another phrase that I think of when I think of them.

They seem to like to belittle others. They pretend that their intentions are good, but I would question that presumption at this point. Recently their attention was placed on me. I guess because I was not worshipping at the feet of the mover and shaker.

I was not really prepared for the rage that was heaped upon me. It wasn’t anger, it was rage. I felt attacked actually. But I was really please with my reaction. Usually when faced with hysterics and everything but the proverbial kitchen sink being thrown at me I will react emotionally.

Fortunately I had been observing this person and somehow I responded automatically in what I thought was an appropriate manner. I will now remove myself and not allow myself to be treated in such a manner again.

I feel empowered and in control. I have no emotional ties to this person. I can not imagine having to spend my life with a narcissist.