There is so much that I did not write about when I decided to share this story. I had wanted to write about my experience with John for years. I knew that it would run long and that’s why I decided to do a series on “The Frank Diary of Anna”. More than one person asked for me to put this in Kindle format, so I did and here it is.
There are lots of memories, experiences, and people that I omitted from this account. I truly believe that there is enough to this John story to fill a book. But it would take a lot of time to do. It would mean contacting people from his past to get their memories and thoughts, research that I’m not too sure that I am willing to invest the time in. It’s still a very emotional story for me to tell. There are still parts that I hold close to me and don’t feel the need to share.
I was amazed at the number of people who I did not know that contacted me with in the first few days of this blog going live on my page. If only he realized how many people’s lives he touched. How many people still love him and think of him maybe that would mean something to him. But sadly a life of drugs doesn’t usually lead to sunshine and rainbows. He wasn’t cast out on his own with no hope of redemption. Lots of people have tried to help him. I am more than confident that in the years that we have been apart he has had ample opportunity for change. But he has allowed himself to be swallowed up by his drug use.
His story isn’t an unusual story. That’s why I think people could relate to a book about his life. But it’s much too sad of a story for me to spend any more time on. But I welcome you to share your memories of John with me. Who knows maybe one day I’ll find the courage to really look at what happened to him. Maybe your memories will help me to do that.
You are brave to have survived and written about this chapter of your life. I had no idea, all the heartaches he put you through. I really don’t remember much about John, my memories are more of us growing up and to this day I wonder sometimes how are lives would have been different if we had gone to Virginia. Do you remember how we wanted to go to college in Virginia after our Washington trip, you wanted to be lawyer and I wanted to be a dr. I would like to have my kids read your blog if that is OK, they are old enough to understand and see the damage that one can do with drugs. You are beautiful and strong!
I would love for them to read it. It’s amazing how much of your life is directed by chance or whatever you might want to call. I sometimes wish that there had been more encouragement to seek help in attending college. It always seemed out of reach to me. I think in some schools they should have a class on seeking funds or scholarships or grants to attend college. Just some kind of direction. My plan was to go to TCC and then transfer to another school. That’s when John came back into my life. I wanted to go to the Northwest campus because it was new. I should have stuck with the Northeast.
Wow, I came across your blog and this sounds a lot like my life. I, too found the courage to end my marriage after 21 years and to begin taking care of myself. Thank you for sharing your story.
Good for you Lynne!! I’m sad to say I think this story is all too common.