My mother helped us buy a used car. It wasn’t much, but it got us from point A to point B. Later we bought another car from a friend of hers. We were now a two car couple and we both had jobs. We decided to move to another apartment. This one was off Handly. After a few months things begin to go downhill. John lost his job. Things started missing around the house. I came home from work one night and put my wedding ring in a glass dish on the dresser. When I got up the next morning it was gone. I asked John if he had seen it. He said no. I went on to work, upset. When I got home that night I looked in his wallet and sure enough there was a pawn ticket for my wedding ring. This, as they say, was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
I mulled it over for a couple of days. Finally I told him I was done. He was going to have to leave. He cried, I cried. But in the end I stood my ground and he knew that I was not taking any more. I told him that the next day we would put a new battery in the Gran Torinio and he would have to go. I went to bed. Later he would lay down next to me and try to hug me and I resisted. He was ice cold. He sat up in the living room and played his guitar. I remember him playing “You were always on my mind” and “Danny’s Song”. It was way too late for any of that.
The next day I bought a battery, a case of beer, and gave him $20 and sent him on his way. He ended up at my Uncle Fred’s. Once he was done there, he stole their television and left. He continued to call me, show up at my door, and even showed up at my work. I eventually moved into an apartment with a security guard at the gate.
He refused to sign divorce papers. The guys he worked with told him that if he didn’t sign the divorce papers that we couldn’t get divorce. He was still trying to hang on. My lawyer served him with divorce papers at his workplace. After the waiting period, we went to court. He didn’t show up, his friends at work told him if he didn’t show up we couldn’t get divorced. Not that it mattered whether he was there or not. Ninety days later I walked out of the courthouse free and finally on my own.
There are 2 more days of this story left. If you just found this series, you can click here to start, when you finish that introductory blog if you’ll scroll back up there is a link to click for the next day’s installment.
I appreciate your comments and your own comments of this time period.
John was a wake up call. Since that time, I have had to deal with more then one family member who went that same way. I always thought if John would have spent about 5 years in jail he might have been able to grow out of his prolonged immaturity of youth. He never grew up. Now I pray for all who have lived a life of addiction. It is a disease that some never find a cure for and most die from Thank you Anna.
Thanks for your comment Harry. I have empathy for all who struggle with their addictions.
I went through a similar situation with my first husband that ended up with his death. This was hard for me to read and it took me a few days to do so and to be able to respond. I get this and why you had to containerize it and love you because you lived it, not only survived but, conquered a potentially life debilitating situations. Many women are just not strong enough to do what you did..had to do.
Thank you Leisha. I felt that writing it would finally enable me to let it go. As I come towards the end of my story, I don’t think I can. BUT I am amazed at friends and strangers who have told me how my story resonates with them. Sadly, it really is an all too common story.