Heads Up!!! I’m May Be Changing My Will!

I don’t know much about what happens to men as they grow older. I can only comment as an observer. But I do, however, have some experience about what happens to women. Some are not so bad, some are kind of good, some are just awful, and a few are just a pain in the behind.

My hair is starting to get a little gray.  It is starting to show more and more. I notice it each time I get my hair cut. When he asks me to tilt my head down, I see more and more gray each time. At my last appointment I said “I see more and more gray!!!” He said we can fix that. But I said “No, I kind of like it.” And I do. I actually look forward to a head full of white hair. If my grandmother was living, I know that she would fuss at me. She always did fuss at my aunts when they started to let the gray show in their hair.

So the hair on my head changing is no big deal. At least I have hair. What I despise is facial hair. I have little talks with myself about it all the time. Especially when I come across an older woman with a full blow mustache or chin hairs. Don’t these women have daughters or someone to tell them that they need to do something about that???? It really drives me crazy.

I have visited elderly relatives and acquaintances at nursing homes or hospitals and I know that facial hair is the least of their concerns. But “My Stars!!!” doesn’t anyone care. I know these women probably didn’t run around in their 50’s & 60’s with three inch chin hairs!!!

walrusI’ll admit that sometimes mine gets away from me. I look in the mirror and suddenly see Mr. Walrus looking back at me.  I’ll ask myself “How did you let this happen? You need to stay on top of this!!!”  So I get out the hair removal cream and swipe it above my lips.  I enter the living room wearing my white, smelly mustache and Doug has the good sense not to say a word.

You may not want to hear this.  Maybe I’m revealing too much about myself.  But I have these three little chin hairs.  I am plucking them constantly.  Sometimes I think to myself: “I should just let these grow out and braid them.”  That would be a show stopper!!  To walk in somewhere and come face to face with a gray headed women with a tiny little braid hanging down from her chin.

As I was plucking and apply my creams the other night I had a thought.  Who was going to do these things for me when I couldn’t??  I could probably depend on Doug to shave them off.  But I think that’s just a little much to expect from your husband.  He doesn’t see that well close up anyways.  So I decided that once I reach an age where this plucking gets away from me more and more I’ll change my will.  I will leave all my worldly goods to the person who comes to visit me and plucks my chin hair.

There I said it.  I know its a little too much information.  But how will I get help with this down the road if I don’t start letting someone   So heads up Lindsey, Carla, and Kristine!!

2 Comments

  1. Hilarious! I was beginning to feel alone with this same problem, but I want to know how you got just THREE!?!?!?…Oh Honey, if I lose my tweezers, I’d fit right in on Duck Dynasty.

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