Doug and I have been through 19 years of domestic living arrangements. We constantly do things that get on each others nerves. But with age and time comes tolerance. I came up with a few examples of things that we do that gets on the other’s nerves. The silly thing was I could have made his list really long, but couldn’t think of much that I do that gets on his nerves. But before you say anything, I know that if I gave him a notepad and pen he would be able to fill the page as well. So I kept it to four things each.
1. Wipes his Cheeto dusted fingers on my clean white dishcloth.
2. Trims his mustache and leaves the little hairs all over the sink and vanity.
3. Mexican Restaurant – fills up on hot sauce and chips and then asks for a to go box (every single time!)
4. Crams a whole package of bacon into the electric skillet
1. Leave cabinet doors and drawers partially open
2. Refuses to cram a whole package of bacon into the electric skillet
3. Forgets to put the emergency brake on when I park.
4. I drip water on the floor when I put up dishes.
But if you really want to see us both go ballistic, put him behind the wheel and put me behind the vehicle to give directions for backing up to hook up a trailer. This total and complete chaos. A break down in communication of the highest order. A total and complete disaster way before it ever happens. Fortunately we have found that if I back up and he gives the directions we do much better. There is usually some screaming at some point. But it is over quickly. Sort of like pulling a sticker out of the bottom of your foot.
Any one who has been married and even involved in a relationship knows that it is far from easy. I think when we are younger we somehow expect the other person to be able to read our mind and know what we are thinking. But I have learned as I’ve gotten older that these little things really don’t matter. We once bought a computer desk from Walmart. It was pretty good size and was packed into a rather small, slim box. On the way home, I thought about all those pieces, screws, bolts, washers, and I couldn’t help myself. I said “I’m sorry.” He said “What for?” I said “For the fight we’re going to have when we put that thing together.” Well it didn’t take too long. I could see that he was really trying to control himself and I was really trying not to ask any silly questions. But eventually “IT” happened. But we laughed. We laugh a lot.
The good thing is that after 19 years I have discovered that it gets just a little easier. I think it happens because somehow we love each other more than we did the day before. Many years ago I had other people tell me that this happens. But until you experience it yourself, its really hard to imagine. So when I find little hairs all over the sink and vanity I just clean them up. When he finds cabinet doors and drawers open, he just closes them.
Although occasionally I’ll tell him “I cleaned up your mess from trimming your mustache”, (Just so he’ll know that he left a mess for me) and he’ll tell me “Thank you!!!”
Good article from yesterday: Secrets of Happy Couples