I’ve struggled this year spiritually.  Questioning my beliefs.  Questioning what is going on in the world.  Disgusted at times with how the “church” portrays itself and how its portrayed in the media.  Disgusted at times with the politics and opinions spewed from the pulpit and from the “good christian” people sitting around me in the pews.Maybe its normal to go through periods of doubt and questioning.  Maybe that’s how you make sure your moral compass is functioning correctly.  I’m not a sheep.  I can’t believe something is right or wrong simply because my “church” tells me it is.  I question my beliefs because sometimes others question me because my political or social beliefs are somewhat different from what the “church” tells me they should be.

I still believe that a lot of modern churches have taken big steps away from the simple teachings of Jesus Christ.  I still believe that a lot of modern churches are churches of exclusion instead of inclusion.  But I have to also believe that there are still people out there who believe in the basic simple teachings of Jesus Christ without adding a lot of other man made rules and regulations.

I still can not pray for myself.  But I do at times feel as if I can feel the prayers of someone out there praying for me.  After a day spent with family.  A day of Christmas carols on in the background.  Not ” “Frosty the Snowman” or “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer”.  But carols like “Oh Come Oh Come Emmanuel”, “Oh Holy Night”, “Do You Hear What I Hear.”  Classic, older, slower paced carols.  As I sit in the quietness of my home, alone, I think I hear the still quiet voice of God whispering in my ear.

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