Inside I get scared…….sometimes

I’m basically a very optimistic person.  I usually see the best in people and most situations.  But I do sometimes worry.  I don’t usually worry about things for myself, but things for other people.  I worry about people that are sick, out of work, or just struggling with anything.  I always wish that I could take away their problems and help them out. I’m not talking about people who seem to constantly create their own problems. These people can’t be helped, in fact helping them usually blows up in your face.  So I generally stay away from those problems.

I worry about my mother getting older. I’m concerned with her driving, especially at night. That had been on my mind a while. Basically the only place she drives to at night is church. She goes to Sunday evening services and Wednesday night services. She told me recently she was going to drive less at night. She wasn’t going to evening services any longer. She does a lot for the church during the day. She does visitations, she cleans the missionary house, she’s there to help make dinners for funerals, she visits shut ins and those in nursing homes, she takes people to doctor’s appointments, she gives the caretakers of those with Alzheimer’s a chance to get out of the house. I won’t even go into what she does for family members. So I think God will forgive her for not attending Sunday and Wednesday evening services.

She also recently had a bone scan and they told her she is starting to show some deterioration in her shoulders and back. That’s not unusual, she is 70. Her own mother was very stooped. So she started on Fosamax. But all in all she is in pretty good health.  She only started taking blood pressure medicine a couple of years ago and it is a very low dose.

But lately I have been a little worried about myself. Maybe I’m a closet hypochondriac. I’ve got something going on and in the back of my mind I hear a little voice telling me “Its cancer”. I’m seeing a doctor, a gastroenterologist.  But waiting for paperwork to get pushed through and for the brainless staff at the cardiologist office to get the cardiac approval is driving me absolutely nuts!! Plus the Thanksgiving Holidays slowed every thing down to a crawl.  Christmas is coming, it just seems like people aren’t moving as quickly as I would like them to.

I just hope it’s something stupid, like hemorrhoids.  That would be embarrassing and I will probably tell anybody who would listen, but it beats cancer.  Cancer scares me.