"Get off the pity train, it has left the station!"

We all have or will go through difficult times. Sometimes things happen that we have no control over. I’m thinking of someone who loses a job through no fault of their own, health issues that seem to spring up out of no where, accidents, loss of home due to storms, fire, floods or tornadoes. Things that we have no decision making power over at all.  But sometimes our difficulties are of our own making.

Sometimes we are put into difficult positions because of other people. It could be family members, long time friends, and sometimes complete strangers. I think I have finally learned after nearly 50 years of living, that I’m not obligated to anyone for anything. If someone asks me for something I shouldn’t feel bad or forced into something. I think being able to say “I’m sorry, but I’m not going to be able to do that.” should be a perfectly good answer to any request. I don’t think I’m required to offer a why or a why not. Especially if it’s because of problems that someone has created for themselves.
I know adults who have adult children who live in their households and these adult children do not work nor make any attempt to work. Yet they are struggling for the basic things in their homes. I just don’t understand why they don’t contribute to the well being of the household.  Even birds eventually nudge their children out of the nest. I know adults with adult children who stick their noses into places it doesn’t belong.  Then they don’t understand why their own children along with their children’s spouses don’t want to have anything to do with them.  I think you have to realize at some point that your child is adult, it’s their life, and if they want your input they will ask for it. They have created their own family and now it’s their turn. I could go on and on about what I’ve seen, but I think I’ll stop here. I think we’ve all seen examples of these sort of things.
But a wholelot of problems we create for ourselves. I have made lots of bad choices in my life, especially during my early years, choices that I had to pay the price for in the long run. I have had man trouble, money trouble, work trouble, car trouble, family trouble and a wealth of other troubles. I have lived paycheck to paycheck and wondered what I was going to eat.  But I have always managed to pick myself up and get back on my feet. I have kicked out a free loader, walked to work when I didn’t have a car, and ate stuff I absolutely couldn’t stand for lunch or dinner because that’s all I could afford. Looking back I can honestly say 99.9% of these troubles were of my own doing.
What I’ve learned through all of this is to not make quick decisions.  I try to think things through, ask myself questions. Everything we do has consequences. All we can do is try to make better choices.

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