Some nights I get to bed early, get a good nights sleep and wake up feeling refreshed. That’s how I woke up this morning. We had a couple of storms move through with high winds, heavy rain, and small hail. It woke me up, but I went right back to sleep. I woke up happy and ready to get the week started.
Then I got to work and that’s where my problems started and my attitude changed. Stuff piled up on my desk, emails needing my attention, people asking why I hadn’t turned in certain paperwork, paperwork that I have never been asked for before. By 8:35 in the morning I am no longer happy and eager to work.
For lunch I went to the mall. I thought a good brisk walk through the mall would lower my blood pressure and release whatever happy “vibes” my brain needed to release. Plus, I had a $10 off coupon and a $25 gift card for JC Penney’s and I needed a purse. My handbag of choice is Coach. JCP does not sell Coach. I could have walked down to Dilliards, but that wasn’t where my coupon or gift card was for. Plus, I really didn’t want to spend a lot of money on a purse.
Waiting in line does not lower the blood pressure or produce the “feel good” vibes in my brain. It really does quite the opposite. So does rude people standing in line in the food court and small children who either need naps or a really good spanking. Plus the purse was on sale for 40% off and they only gave me 30% off. <sigh>
Sitting here quietly I have decided that there really isn’t any reason for all of these little things to get to me and change my mood. The problem isn’t the little things, but my attitude. Sometimes the least little thing really pisses me off and I stay pissed off for a while. These type of things use to just roll right off me. I would just plow through the paper work, questions, and phone calls.
Since drinking at work is frowned upon, I am going to have to do something else. As I have gotten older, my fuse has gotten shorter. I don’t know if this is just a natural progression or what. Maybe its hormones, I don’t know. Some people I know take a pill. Something like Paxil, Zoloft, or whatever. They say it works for them. Its not something they take everyday, just when they are feeling overwhelmed.
Tomorrow morning I go to the doctor for my blood work results. I’m thinking of asking her what she thinks. I think I would like something that could take the edge off my anger sometimes. If she can’t write a prescription that keeps me at home (which is where I find peace and comfort), maybe then its time for something else.